ya Allah what have i done ?

i keep hating things around me. which means i lost to my feeling. my emotions.

i lost to my enemy. our enemy. syaitan yang direjam !!

and i am sure syaitan keep laughing at me now. oh Allah , forgive me.

i keep feeling like :

today was a bad day. true.

i keep feeling useless and i hate myself.

i feel sad , i feel lonely , i feel like i am the most problematic person in the world.

what happen to me ?

i am struggling with my pain. i am sick of being me.

i hate what i said, what i did , where i went .

i am alone.plus gastric.new best friend eh ? T.T

i am not being me. i am not that old happy me.omoooo.

i wanna cry. i don't trust myself. i hate the feeling of me loosing to my emotions.

i hate myself for hating everything else.

i feel like i am too far from Allah. i feel like. arghhhhh

i feel like a sinner. yes. i am. but this feeling tell me that i am too far.

i know syaitan love this kind of heart. the heart that just beating for hating.

forgive my wrongdoing.forgive every single sin of me hating myself. 

As all your creation is perfect as it be.

 and i am wrong.

#mentally, emotionally, physically breakdown.